Today, Kim Jong Il, the North Korean dictator, offered to negotiate an end to his nuclear program if several demands would be met:

A, That a full sized Graceland replica be constructed in PyongYang.
B, A full sized Dollywood be built nearby,
C, An exact copy of Neverland Ranch also be erected,
D, Superbowl tickets
E, An appearance on American Idol
F, a date with Jessica Simpson.

The President and his advisors are thinking it over.